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"The April rain, the April rain,
Comes slanting down in fitful showers,
Then from the furrow shoots the grain,
And banks are fledged with nestling flowers;
And in grey shawl and woodland bowers
The cuckoo through the April rain
Calls once again."

Mathilde Blind, April Rain
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Do you have a joke?

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Comments

  • sammanisammani Posts: 418 ✭✭✭
    Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
    A: He wanted to go to high school.
  • jackelliotjackelliot Posts: 827 OTT
    Why did the Skeleton not go out swimming?

    Because he/she had no-body to swim with. hehehe
  • sammanisammani Posts: 418 ✭✭✭
    What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
    "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
    "Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
    "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
    "Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out." :| oh my god. :(
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 11,123 mod
    John asked his new neighbor who used to live in a city: "There are certainly many beautiful women in the city where you lived?"
    The man replied: "I never saw one, my work does not allow it."
    John said, really you didn't see ever a beautiful woman? " " And the neighbor replied:" I am working in a beauty salon."
  • sammanisammani Posts: 418 ✭✭✭
    Once upon a time
    A child saw gray hair of his mother and asked mom,why your hair has become gray.then mother replied ,son becuase you are naughty.
    Then son replied ohh I can imagine how naugty you are.becuase grand mother's hair is totally gray. :D
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 6,749 mod
    sammani said:

    This is not funny.but a fool thing I think



    "brothers jointly owned a business and both were wise in worldly ways. While dying, one brother instructed his sibling to put half of their combined wealth into the grave with the casket. The brother reluctantly agreed. In time his brother died. At the graveside ceremony the living brother wrote a check for half of their assets and placed it in the casket."

    That's funny and clever.. because he did as he was asked, without actually having to lose any money by doing it.
  • sammanisammani Posts: 418 ✭✭✭
    Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
    Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 11,123 mod
    A boy says to his friend: "I got a fantastic binoculars for my birthday."
    His friend then asks: "What is so special about it?"
    The boy replies: "Well on the box of this device is given that it 20X magnified, but I've alreday used the device forty times and the device still does it..." "So this is the double of the mention....
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 6,749 mod
    sammani said:

    Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"

    Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."

    That is very funny. I have heard some similar jokes. I do think it is nice to kiss your partner before you go out, though! I always do the same.
  • sammanisammani Posts: 418 ✭✭✭
    Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
    Boyfriend: "You're both."
    Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
    Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."

    oh I don't know what to say
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,139 mod

  • VokVok Posts: 555 ✭✭✭
    I love pun jokes @mheredge . They help to learn new words effortlessly.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 6,749 mod
    mheredge said:


    That's funny - and an interesting play on words, too. I'm sure that's a word that lots of people will be looking up once they have read your post!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,139 mod

  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 6,749 mod
    mheredge said:


    Ha ha. I tried this a lot when my brother was a baby! Admittedly I love him to bits now, we get on very well indeed now that we are adults.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 11,123 mod
    Who can find the generation gap?

  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 910 ✭✭✭
    The school teacher of religion to the class:
    'Take a note, children! Those who get 'A' or 'B' in this subject will go to heaven, all the others are doomed to hell!'
    Little Johny: 'Excuse me, Miss. Is there the option to finish this elementary school alive?'
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 910 ✭✭✭
    edited April 17
    Teacher: 'We're having a test tomorrow, everybody should be present! No notes, no ill leaves accepted!'
    Little Johnny [in a saucy tone]: 'What if I'm sexually exhausted?'
    Teacher: "You'll be writing with your left hand, then!'
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 11,123 mod
    A woman asks her husband, who was going to fish yesterday: "How many fish did you catch yesterday?" The man replies very proudly: "They were six very large ones;" And the woman replies: "I can believe that when I see the account of the fishmonger!"
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 11,123 mod
    A couple who have been together for more than 40 years, the woman feels that she receives too little attention from her husband and she decides to do something about it.
    And before they go to bed, she sprinkles with perfume, but the man gets into bed and does not react. The next day, the woman tries to show off striking red @!~* lingerie, but there is no response from the man at all.
    Until the woman the next day finally stands naked for her husband, and he spontaneously says: "But why are you wearing a not ironed dress now?"
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 6,749 mod
    Paulette said:

    Who can find the generation gap?

    I think it is such a shame that young people growing up today spend their lives plugged into games consoles, as they are missing out on so much that is happening around them.
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 910 ✭✭✭
    A nouveau riche Russian is listenining to music through headphones sitting at the fireplace with his feet on it.
    His wife walks in: ‘what are you listening, darling?’
    ‘This is Tchaikovsky, the 1st piano concerto.’
    ‘Then why does this CD box read ‘Led Zeppelin III?’
    ‘Oh, sugar! I always mix them up!’
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