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On this breezy October morn, I walk
in the swift shadows of cloud-cursing rooks,
watching the world wake on the horizon.
Leo Yankevich
All houses wherein men have lived and died
Are haunted houses. Through the open doors
The harmless phantoms on their errands glide,
With feet that make no sound upon the floors.

We meet them at the doorway, on the stair,
Along the passages they come and go,
Impalpable impressions on the air,
A sense of something moving to and fro.
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At the doctors (Eew warning)

LynneLynne Your TeacherHomePosts: 9,526 mod
edited April 2014 in Humour
As we are practising going to the doctors in Let's Talk About It, here's a doctor joke:-

An elderly man goes to the doctor for his annual check up, and his wife goes with him, because he is losing his hearing.

When the doctor has finished the physical examination he tells the old man, "I need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, "WHAT? What did he say? What does he want?"

His wife yells back, "He needs your underpants."
Post edited by Lynne on


  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,493
    Very pragmatic and explicit she is, this lady.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    Eeeh. :-(
  • [Ex Member][Ex Member] Posts: 0
    Ohh, poor man
  • komikomi Posts: 421 ✭✭✭
    Not so funny . sorry.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    This is very funny. Tony Hancock is priceless in this episode called The Blood Donor. I can't believe that it's over fifty years ago that this was first transmitted!

  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,484 mod
    edited May 2014
    Funny man, in the end he needed his donated blood for himself. I think he was satisfied about that, because he didn`t like donating anything.
    I like British humor, they like to make humor about themself so no-one else can do it.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    Yes the British are very good at laughing at themselves. I think this is a very healthy attitude. Tony Hancock was a very funny comedian.

    Nothing to do with the doctor, but if you like his comedies, try this one:

  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,526 mod
    He had a celery stalk stuck in each ear and a carrot stuck up each nostril.

    He mumbled, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."

    The doctor replied, "Maybe you're not eating right."
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive

    Very well observed by the doc, the smarter doctor that I saw.
  • spawnintegrityspawnintegrity Posts: 78 ✭✭
    Another joke for you: @lynne, @helvio, @mheredge

    There were two close-friend construction workers. One day while they were giving their regular lunch brake at a high girder, both realized, there was pasta in their lunch boxes. One said: "I'm tired of pasta. Everyday same thing. If this happens again I'll jump off!".

    The next day, again at the top, two friends opened their lunch boxes. There was meatball instead of pasta for the one who was annoyed yesterday, however, the other one had the same pasta again. This time the one had pasta sweared: "I'm tired of pasta. Everyday same thing. If this happens again I'll jump off!".

    The trailing day, the man who sweared not to eat pasta again, opened his box, saw the pasta and simultaneously jumped off and died.

    After the incident, the lunch buddy decided to visit his friend's wife to give his condolences. Suprisingly the wife didn't seem so mournful. He asked: "Why didn't you change his meal, he was so bored". She replied: "He didn't tell me anything, generally he prepared his own lunch" :(
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Ohhh!! Poor stupid guy!! hahahaha

    Here in Brazil when we told jokes like that we say it is a Portuguese joke. hahaha

    Our countrymen are not very fond of the comparison.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,203 mod
    edited October 2014
    Lynne's joke reminds me of a joke about a man and a condom, but I won't tell you, because I'm afraid that @Lynne‌ will kick me out the forum. :)
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Send me a private message @april. hahahahaha
  • spawnintegrityspawnintegrity Posts: 78 ✭✭
    @april I'm curious too.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    I think you now have to share the joke @april. I'm sure @Lynne won't thrown you out.
  • SLBSLB Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭✭
    @april‌ maybe you could start some sort of private discussion. Your a mod, can't you do that with your power?
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,203 mod
    O-oh, I'm in trouble :) :) :)
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,526 mod
    Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility. (You can tell me the joke later.) :wink:
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Where is Peter Paker?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    Who is Peter Paker @Helvio?
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Sorry @mheredge, I miss the 'r', the corect name is Peter Parker

    Also knowed by Spider Man.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,203 mod
    Do you mean "also known as (aka)" Spider Man, @Helvio‌.
    He is not the journalist, right? That is Superman, I think. :)
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Thank you @april. 'also known as'

    Peter Parker is a photographer, and he is the spider man, doubtless.

    But the joke was lost. :\
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,526 mod
    Wasn't Peter Parker a photographer?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    I think it was more a case that he ended up with the job of getting photos of Spiderman @Lynne, but he tried lots of jobs and no one wanted him.
  • SLBSLB Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭✭
    Can you start all over again please? I didn't get the Spiderman joke.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,527 mod
    I'm not sure I even saw a Spiderman joke anywhere @SLB! Or maybe I'm not looking hard enough.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,203 mod
    Oh, have I ruined your joke, @Helvio‌ ? I'm sorry.
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Don't worry @april, it's only a joke. :D
  • spawnintegrityspawnintegrity Posts: 78 ✭✭
    @helvio please continue to your joke.
    -Where is Peter Parker?
    -Peter Parker is on his way to the office.
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