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There is wind where the rose was,
Cold rain where sweet grass was,
And clouds like sheep
Stream o'er the steep
Grey skies where the lark was.

Nought warm where your hand was,
Nought gold where your hair was,
But phantom, forlorn,
Beneath the thorn,
Your ghost where your face was.

Cold wind where your voice was,
Tears, tears where my heart was,
And ever with me,
Child, ever with me,
Silence where hope was.

November by Walter de la Mare
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Liar! We are all liars

mheredgemheredge TeacherHere and therePosts: 28,171 mod
Telling a little white lie to your child every now and then is certainly not always a bad thing. Like with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, bending the truth can inspire a sense of wonder in a kid's mind and keep them on their best behaviour, especially if they know presents under the tree are at stake. Other times, fibbing is simply the only way to get stubborn, critical young minds to move in the right direction.
Using "alternative facts" as a parenting device, however, can occasionally misfire. If your young detective catches you in a lie, you're in hot water. Then as long as you backtrack and let them know that eating watermelon seeds won't actually turn them into a watermelon before they make it to high school, you're in the clear. A heartfelt apology and an ice cream cone also never hurt anyone.

Here are a few fibs that parents recall telling their kids or kids remember their parents using on them.

Do you remember any white lies your parents used on you?

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/19q62d/:EhVtX!3d:HaHJ7md@/www.boredpanda.com/parents-lies-to-kids
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Comments

  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    "My father used to tell me that Father Christmas had a motorised sleigh that worked like a helicopter so he could get around homes to go down the chimney. When I pointed out we had central heating, he had to invent a Father Christmas who could make himself skinny to get through the pipes!"

    “I was told that every person gets 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can't physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." That would shut me right up.”

    "If the ice cream truck is playing music it means they have run out of ice cream."

    “My grandma told us that smelling each others farts would make us stronger. Worst Christmas ever for us, funniest Christmas for her.”

    “When I was little my Dad told me that toys grew under the weeds in the yard and if I pulled them, eventually a toy would pop out. And I believed it for a long time.”

    “The funniest one I heard was a father who was asked about coconuts in a store by his son. He said: "Don't go near those son...those are bear eggs..."”

    “My grandpa told me, when driving on the highway, that the fastest way to count all of the cows in a field is to count all the legs, and then divide by 4. It took me many, many years to figure out that my grandpa was a huge troll.”

    “Babies were bought from the hospital. Women had to get really fat to prove that they could afford eating well, and therefore, afford having a baby.”

    “My mother told me that spinach would make me strong like Popeye and if I ate it I could lift the house. I would have a few spoonfuls and then she'd rush outside with me and I'd try and lift the house, squeezing my eyes shut with the effort. She'd go "It moved! It moved! Quick, eat some more!" and I'd run back inside and finish it off.”

    “We got our daughter to eat fish by calling it "Argentinian Chicken". That worked for a long time until grandma came along and f*cked it up.”

    “My dad told me if I ate my spinach if get hair on my chest like Popeye. So here I was a small girl wolfing down my spinach hoping I'd get hair on my chest. When I got older and realized I wasn't supposed to get hair on my chest, my dad laughed at me.”

    “My mom brainwashed me as a kid. She put all of the candy out in the open and told me I could eat it whenever I wanted, but she'd hide the vegetables and tell me I could only eat them as a special treat at dinner. It worked. When I was six, I asked if I could have a bowl of Brussels sprouts for my birthday instead of a cake.”

    “"The door is locked because mommy was helping daddy hang a picture behind the door and we didn't want you to open it and hit us." God damn, how many times you guys are hanging pictures behind the door at night?”

    “When she was small, I told my daughter that when she lied a red spot would appear on the middle of her forehead. I knew for sure it worked when she did indeed lie and then her hand went up to cover her forehead.”

    “My dad always told me, that if I press a certain button on our remote control our TV would explode. As I grew older, I was curious and pressed said button only to see he saved @!~* channels on this one”

    “My dad, a 2-3 pot a day coffee drinker, had me convinced at age 7 that you had to be 16 to buy and drink coffee. My first time at Starbucks when I was 16 I was so nervous because I thought they would card me! Lol”

    “They don't sell replacement batteries for that toy.”

    “My dad said Pulp Fiction was a documentary about oranges so that I wouldn't want to watch it.”
    “The car won’t start if your seat belt isn’t on.”

    "If you pee in the pool, you'll get the girls pregnant and have to get a job."

    “I was made to believe that the city of Amsterdam was actually called Hamster Jam.”

    “My kids are convinced that they have a long lost brother somewhere that I dropped off because he was too loud in the car. I am sure they will figure it out but for the time being our road trips are very quiet and peaceful.”

    “Parents used to tell my only brother and I that we used to have another brother who turned into a mushroom from not taking a bath. Even added him to the family albums.”



  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,405 mod
    My son will never forget that when he was a child, I said to him that he had to finish his bowl of rice otherwise that rice will cry. :)
  • NatashaTNatashaT Posts: 778 Teacher
    My grandparents always told my sister and I that we had to eat the bread crusts if we wanted our hair to go curly - we believed it for years and years (and neither of us ever got that curly hair!). :D
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    The first lie I described was mine; my father used to have to invent all sorts of stories to satisfy my constant questions about Father Christmas. I used to humour him and go along with his answers, but I knew he was lying as I'd seen him sneak in to put the presents at the foot of our beds.

    But I believed the story about spinach making me strong, which in fact has some truth in it. Apparently it isn't the iron but nitrates that are found to good for the muscles.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/popeye-had-it-right-spinach-really-does-make-you-stronger-2201458.html



  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    I think most of the lies told by parents are told out of love. I remember lots of little things I used to get told that I just accepted.. but the more I think about it, the more I realise that a lot of it was just a load of rubbish!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    My father only told lies about Father Christmas as far as I know (oh and the spinach and starving Chinese story) @GemmaRowlands. That is, as far as I can remember.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    When I was a young child I asked to my parents for a sister, and they answered me: "The ship with the new babies has not arrived yet" (we lived very close to a river where many ships passed by). In these times was used this lie because the sex life of the parents for children was taboo.

    And because I wanted to have a sister, I was looking forward to watching these boats and I asked many times the skippers whenever they brought babies.

    Fortunately, the times have changed I never told this lie to my children.
  • sohal_deepaksohal_deepak Posts: 62 ✭✭
    when i was kid. I was crazy for watermelon and i use to swallow seeds also then my mom always told me that don't eat seeds otherwise a tree will grow up in your tummy and sometimes i get worried for that and asked so many times to my dad that papa now what to do if tree will become big. Papa laughed on me and replied don't worry we will pluck fruit from that tree. Unfortunately if stomach pain happens bcz of any reason I assumed that means tree is growing up. :D
  • nomad81nomad81 Posts: 512 ✭✭✭
    I am liar too. My daughter falls out milk teeth and I told her that if she will lay her tooth under her pillow, she finds a gift from Tooth fairy in the morning.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    Paulette said:

    When I was a young child I asked to my parents for a sister, and they answered me: "The ship with the new babies has not arrived yet" (we lived very close to a river where many ships passed by). In these times was used this lie because the sex life of the parents for children was taboo.

    And because I wanted to have a sister, I was looking forward to watching these boats and I asked many times the skippers whenever they brought babies.

    Fortunately, the times have changed I never told this lie to my children.

    Yes, I think children learn about that type of thing at a much younger age now. And why not? It's all natural. Obviously there doesn't need to be any detail at first, but for the general idea it's fine.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @nomad81 I love this lie and I think the children too because the children feel so proudly because their tooth is out now, (which usually causes pain) and they can prove it to the tooth fairy.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    We were fed the lie that it was the storks that brought the babies @Paulette. In the same was I was sceptical about Father Christmas bringing sackloads of presents down the chimney, I was convinced that babies were hatched into the nests of these birds.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    Paulette said:

    @nomad81 I love this lie and I think the children too because the children feel so proudly because their tooth is out now, (which usually causes pain) and they can prove it to the tooth fairy.

    Children get so excited about things like that.. so I don't think they are bad lies. There is nothing wrong with allowing a child to feel a little bit of magic every now and again.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    I think I got fed this story about not swallowing seeds unless I wanted the plant growing in my stomach @sohal_deepak. Where do parents get all these tales? I wonder if anyone's written a guidebook on lies to tell their kids.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    mheredge said:

    I think I got fed this story about not swallowing seeds unless I wanted the plant growing in my stomach @sohal_deepak. Where do parents get all these tales? I wonder if anyone's written a guidebook on lies to tell their kids.

    I always believed my father when he said an apple tree would grow in my stomach if I ate the seeds, and it is very easy to eat the seeds of an apple by accident!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    Just as well it isn't true @GemmaRowlands as I'd have an orchard growing out of my mouth by now.
  • YuliaYulia Posts: 50 ✭✭
    When I was a child my mom always said that a bunny brings me ice cream. I remember how one day I was looking out the window and waiting for the bunny. I wanted to see how he looked like. And then my mom came in with a cone of ice cream, and I couldn't understand why I didn’t see the bunny))
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Yulia I think the bunny was afraid of your confident cat and she gave the ice cream quickly to you mum. ;)
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    A bit like Father Christmas @Yulia. What was my father doing? He seemed to have taken over Santa's job!
  • nomad81nomad81 Posts: 512 ✭✭✭
    @Paulette @GemmaRowlands Yes my daughter is very proud from the fact she loses her milk teeth. To the list of my lies, I have to add Santa Claus. Recently she wrote a letter to him which one should have sent. On the other hand I discovered that Santa Claus don't exist when I found Christmas gifts in my parents' wardrobe.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    I think I wrote a couple of times to Santa. My parents covered themselves by warning me that he couldn't always bring everything we listed. All the same, I think I did get a few things I wanted. And @nomad81 there is a Santa in Norway I think, who has the job of answering letters! I think it was a post office publicity stunt at some time which if nothing else, cost parenth the price of the stamp.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @nomad81 @mheredge Santa-Claus is in the Netherlands and in Belgium a good holy man who brings toys to the children on the 6 of December. This is the name day of the Saint and its is a whole celebration on this day. It is a tradition who I like so much. For that day the grandchildren must write a letter to the Saint for ask what they want and then the Saint comes personal to my house to give them their present. I have 12 grandchildren and everyone great and small send his letter to the Saint. Then comes the great Saint with his helpers on the 6 of December to give them their present. It's a great party and I don't know of anyone of the grandchildren who don't believe in the Saint. And believe me this little lie is honored in our family and make me every years so glad, I am dreaming of it, weeks before.

  • jackelliotjackelliot Posts: 754 OTT
    Blair the MP and PM was great at it
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    I think Santa has to start early in the month (6 December) in your country @Paulette as he has so many children to visit. It takes him till the 24th of December to reach Britain and then he doesn’t get to Spain till 6 January!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    I found this article which you might find interesting @filauzio, @Paulette, @nomad81, @april, @dope, @Practical_Severard:
    What Google searches reveal about the human psyche
    http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2GUNA5?
  • nomad81nomad81 Posts: 512 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge Thank you. It's the very interesting article and it excellent describes a behaviour ordinary the Internet user.
  • jackelliotjackelliot Posts: 754 OTT
    @mheredge great article
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,431 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge there are a lot of things especially on facebook that are exaggerated, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz has quite right. Thanks for the article!
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    mheredge said:

    Just as well it isn't true @GemmaRowlands as I'd have an orchard growing out of my mouth by now.

    But think of the money you would save on apples! I'm not actually too keen on apples, but I wouldn't mind an orange tree or a peach tree..
  • filauziofilauzio Posts: 1,619 ✭✭✭✭✭


    It's funny to think how many people fear about malicious attacks when online; even it is to see how they care to make sure they have locked their door when going outdoors.
    I think it's no use getting the more updated software to block viruses, neither it is to install an armoured front-door, when it comes to mere privacy.
    As long as you keep spreading your more intimate informations, shovelfuls at a time, uncautiously giving them to supposedly free services on the internet, be them just socials, or the digital firms which pretend to free your inbox mails from all the spam and unwanted communications, yours is an already lost battle.
    Your ' privacy ' is the currency by which you pay for any digital conveniences you're misled to give for granted.
    Unfortunately, I suppose, nothing is to be given for granted these days; apart from the universal truth, starting back since the Big Bang, that nobody do anything for nothing in return.

    Then you can sigh with relief at your valuables being safe into your house; but don't imagine you're stripped to the feet, the moment you pretend putting on certainty of unviolated privacy bearing, while stepping into your digital devices.
    glad to stop strict diet, splashed in belly flop? Don't care you're not light, here on English hop !
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