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By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer’s best of weather
And autumn’s best of cheer.

Helen Hunt Jackson - September
The breezes taste
Of apple peel.
The air is full
Of smells to feel-
Ripe fruit, old footballs,
Burning brush,
New books, erasers,
Chalk, and such.
The bee, his hive,
Well-honeyed hum,
And Mother cuts
Chrysanthemums.
Like plates washed clean
With suds, the days
Are polished with
A morning haze.

John Updike, September
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Ladies, why are we still chained to the kitchen sink?

mheredgemheredge TeacherHere and therePosts: 27,079 mod
I'm interested to learn your thoughts on this topic. Social norms are also very different depending on the part of the world you come from, but women the world over are still ties to the kitchen sink even now.

http://www.sbs.com.au/news/article/2014/03/17/comment-ladies-why-are-we-still-chained-kitchen-sink


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Comments

  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I cook so badly that I am forced to eat my oeuvres alone. ;) Consequently I do washing-up occasionally. ;) In the meantime I learn Bubblish (@Bubbly). ;)
  • mounamouna Posts: 1,686 ✭✭✭
    It seems like the kitchen attracts us,once I'm in the kitchen I tell myself cooking a dinner can take only one hour but I stay there for two or three hours.
  • whoisdeadwhoisdead Posts: 46 ✭✭
    For many generations here, in certain typical families, girls are taught and told to do house chores at a young age. A female, especially those that are married and lives with their mother-in-law that doesn't know or do house chores will be judged and possibly be a topic for gossips among typical housewives or older women. Working is not a valid reason for females to use as an excuse to skip chores. As an Asian, I consider myself fortunate to be born in this era where gender equality is getting through to more people. Gender stereotyping where females clean the house and males go out to work frustrates me a lot because it happens in my family. I tend to get into trouble for going against 'orders'. And I wish and will change that.

    I would also like to know about your thoughts on this topic.
  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @whoisdead, I hate being told what to do. ;) And since my mum's mother required her to prepare meals for the whole family she never expected me to do the same. :) Well, that said, you have to eat something. ;)
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,257 mod
    There are positive and of course negative aspects of doing the chore. Weˋve to prepare three meals per day. My hubby is responsible for breakfast and I do the lunch and dinner.
    I were told that the prepared meals in shops contain the cheapest food they get. Here in the near there is a golf restaurant were a breakfast cost € 23 for a singe person. You can get everything there. (The waitress there told my sister-in-law that the host buys only the cheapest food). ha

    I prefer my breakfast prepared by my husband.

    My Granny had a saying embroided on a linen, it said: There is no place like home. It hang on the wall.

    My home-made dishes are freshly prepared without artificial ingrediences and made with love (at least most of the time).

    Is it really that hard to do the chores, sometimes it is and sometims it isnˋt.

  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    I think it is fine to be chained to the kitchen sinkif this is your choice and preference, but as @whoisdead points out, when it is something that's expected and a woman wants to go against the norms, in some societies this is still very much frowned upon.

    My mother was given a choice to stay at home if she wanted to look after the home and children, which she was happy to do. That said I'm not sure if it was much of a 'choice' in that to have continued to work she would have ended up with two jobs, one in the home and another out in an office. I think she knew that my father wouldn't be much help in the home. By contrast my sister's husband has always shared the housework and cooking 50/50.
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,257 mod
    Although my husband and kids tend to help in the kitchen do I have the position of being the captain. The one who has the saying.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    I'm not sure I like your use of the word 'tend' @Hermine. This suggests that they don't help as much as they might. It means that they might be inclined to help but that this isn't always the case!
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,257 mod
    Okay @Mariannee, it gives you a fals impression. They do all what I tell them (at least most of the time). Better?
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod
    People will say that in the UK that isn't the case anymore, but to a certain extent it is. There are still jobs around the house that I do that my brother, for example, won't help with - and my mother doesn't seem to think it is a problem!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    You're the boss @Hermine. They should obey you all the time!

    It starts with how well their mothers brought them up @GemmaRowlands. The 'new man' is slowly becoming more typical, dividing the household chores more equally. But it is still a slow process that has not even started much in some parts of the world.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod
    mheredge said:

    You're the boss @Hermine. They should obey you all the time!

    It starts with how well their mothers brought them up @GemmaRowlands. The 'new man' is slowly becoming more typical, dividing the household chores more equally. But it is still a slow process that has not even started much in some parts of the world.

    Yes, I think the process will be slow. When I have children I will be teaching them that everyone has the ability to do the same jobs as each other.
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 489 ✭✭✭
    > @GemmaRowlands said:
    When I have children I will be teaching them that everyone has the ability to do the same jobs as each other.
    I think that's a bit of exaggeration. We've been there before. That hasn't been good.
    Like this https://i.onthe.io/vllkyt6h804tjejjp.dcdece33.jpg
    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-e2ZyL8u1Dgk/T6OfnsBnstI/AAAAAAAABoQ/Q3Vg28lsRVA/s800/img044.jpg
    https://im0-tub-ru.yandex.net/i?id=2b0977735b086ad5e9af40dd3ec1f816-l&n=13
    http://i.mr7.ru/photos/2011/11/890x675_Hv4X28O07d4T4u7t24SQ.jpg
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 6,105 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I am the boss for cooking and baking but the children and the grandchildren are raised to clean their material and leave their places cleared out when the meals are finished. I think on this way is everyone satisfied. The children, grandchildren and also my husband for eating good and I am satisfied because I not alone must clean up the kitchen.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    You're right @Practical_Severard. This is true equality but sometimes there is not much choice. In Nepal almost as many women work on building sites as men. They are not stopped from making their living at this work. Most women in more developed or rich countries would never want to get their hands dirty with this sort of work.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod

    > @GemmaRowlands said:

    When I have children I will be teaching them that everyone has the ability to do the same jobs as each other.

    I think that's a bit of exaggeration. We've been there before. That hasn't been good.

    Like this https://i.onthe.io/vllkyt6h804tjejjp.dcdece33.jpg

    https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-e2ZyL8u1Dgk/T6OfnsBnstI/AAAAAAAABoQ/Q3Vg28lsRVA/s800/img044.jpg

    https://im0-tub-ru.yandex.net/i?id=2b0977735b086ad5e9af40dd3ec1f816-l&n=13

    http://i.mr7.ru/photos/2011/11/890x675_Hv4X28O07d4T4u7t24SQ.jpg

    Oh I understand that. But what I mean is that women shouldn't have to do everything around the house just because they are women - particularly when most women have jobs as well these days!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    To be honest, I'd rather be cooking than digging the garden. So to some extent, we choose our destiny.
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 489 ✭✭✭
    > @GemmaRowlands said:

    But what I mean is that women shouldn't have to do everything around the house just because they are women
    No problem with that, then. Everyone must have a fair share of house work, though a specific division differ from family to family according to their situation. I can't understand men who are ok being idle while his wife is working.

    >- particularly when most women have jobs as well these days!
    They have had jobs for not less than fifty years.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    Women often find that as well as working in an office, they still have their job as housewife and mother.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,061 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe do what you can easily do! LOL
    Xanthippe said:

    I cook so badly that I am forced to eat my oeuvres alone. ;) Consequently I do washing-up occasionally. ;) In the meantime I learn Bubblish (@Bubbly). ;)

  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    I find I usually end up eating my entrees after my main course @Xanthippe and @Bubbly! I'm usually too busy cooking the main course to be able to stop to have them before and then I don't want the rest of my meal to go cold.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,061 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    I can't eat curry and roti if it goes cold. @mheredge
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod
    mheredge said:

    I find I usually end up eating my entrees after my main course @Xanthippe and @Bubbly! I'm usually too busy cooking the main course to be able to stop to have them before and then I don't want the rest of my meal to go cold.

    I don't like eating anything before my main meal anyway, as I find that I am able to enjoy the food more if I am really, really hungry, so I don't want to eat anything that might lower my appetite.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    Ah but this means that it is easier to overeat @GemmaRowlands. I try never to eat when I'm really hungry for this reason. It's a bit like not going food shopping when you feel hungry!
  • jackelliotjackelliot Posts: 737 OTT
    ... ... making currant buns for tea
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod
    mheredge said:

    Ah but this means that it is easier to overeat @GemmaRowlands. I try never to eat when I'm really hungry for this reason. It's a bit like not going food shopping when you feel hungry!

    Possibly.. but if you make sure you have only given yourself a healthy sized portion then you wouldn't be able to. I was always taught to clear my plate, so will eat any amount that I'm given!
  • nomad81nomad81 Posts: 445 ✭✭✭
    Yesterday I was chained to the sink, my wife with daughter had gone to a walk. Between you and me, I like wash up the dishes and I often annoy, when I see dirty plates or cups in sink.
  • saraalsaraal Posts: 64 ✭✭
    Holiday is starting in June "the month of my birthday"
    But it's also the month of washing dishes for me because it's a holiday I have to help my mother.
    My gift of success is the wash-dishes :D :D
    It's better and easier than stay washing for long time
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,337 mod
    nomad81 said:

    Yesterday I was chained to the sink, my wife with daughter had gone to a walk. Between you and me, I like wash up the dishes and I often annoy, when I see dirty plates or cups in sink.

    It annoys me when I see dirty dishes in the sink, too, but I believe that if I was the one to cook a meal, it should be somebody else who washes the dishes, so that everyone has contributed to the meal in some way.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,079 mod
    I find that using a smaller plate helps me a lot @GemmaRowlands as like you, I was always taught to clear my plate!
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