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There is wind where the rose was,
Cold rain where sweet grass was,
And clouds like sheep
Stream o'er the steep
Grey skies where the lark was.

Nought warm where your hand was,
Nought gold where your hair was,
But phantom, forlorn,
Beneath the thorn,
Your ghost where your face was.

Cold wind where your voice was,
Tears, tears where my heart was,
And ever with me,
Child, ever with me,
Silence where hope was.

November by Walter de la Mare
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I need some help for writing a sales email

hardpeoplehardpeople Posts: 33 ✭✭
Dear all:
I am a sales representative for a cleaning equipment and chemical company. Recently, I have made some cold call to some of the food industry and catering company. I want to sell want the chemical and papers to clean their kitchen and equipment. When I called them, they told me to send our product's information to their email.

I know that many of purchasing managers receive hundred of email per day. Many of them will drop them before open them, the other not get any interest after they have read the email.

I know that there are not many I can do. Due to the price/product of my company. The only things I can do is to improve my email.
My main purpose is to get a chance for a meeting. Then I can give a brief explanation to them and I can visit the their company. It is even better if I can visit their production line. I can make some suggestion to them.

I have sorted out my purposes:
1. keep contact with customers
2. asking for a meeting ( I have refer to some web site, they said that don't mention it in the first email.
3. asking for a visit
4. making sales

I also want to compose a second email to ask for the feedback. Or ask for a meeting. I am afraid that most of them will answer, we don't need it at the moment, or never see them.

Below is the draft email, please give me some advice. I don't want to make it too long, especially the section of introduction our company. Because we are a new company, not too many history to mention.


Dear procurement Manager:

I am writing to introduce our company and our products to you. We supply chemicals, equipment and utensils.
We provide better quality products and sales service that can help our customers to increase their efficiency and productivity.

Enclosed please find the attachment, they are some of our products which are used at kitchen, food industry and catering.

Should you have any enquiries, please feel free to contact me.

Comments

  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,063 mod



    Dear Sir,



    I would like to introduce our company and products to you. We supply high quality chemicals, equipment and utensils to help our customers in the catering and food industry to increase their efficiency and productivity.



    Enclosed please find the attachment with details of some of our products.



    Should you have any questions, please feel free to contact me.

    @hardpeople what you have written is good. I always try to go for as few words as possible, because everyone is so busy they don't have time to read much (not that you have much). So maybe I would just suggest editing it tiny bit.
  • hardpeoplehardpeople Posts: 33 ✭✭
    Thank You @mheredge
    I would be glad if any of you give me more advice.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,063 mod
    I think you have the right idea to keep your message short because usually people have little time to read long paragraphs @hardpeople. Summarising the most important points in as few words as possible is best. Then if the prospective clients want more information, this is when you can go into more detail.
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