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By all these lovely tokens
September days are here,
With summer’s best of weather
And autumn’s best of cheer.

Helen Hunt Jackson - September
The breezes taste
Of apple peel.
The air is full
Of smells to feel-
Ripe fruit, old footballs,
Burning brush,
New books, erasers,
Chalk, and such.
The bee, his hive,
Well-honeyed hum,
And Mother cuts
Chrysanthemums.
Like plates washed clean
With suds, the days
Are polished with
A morning haze.

John Updike, September
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The Fridge

LynneLynne Your TeacherHomePosts: 9,477 mod
Three men are standing at the Pearly Gates, waiting to get into heaven.

Saint Peter has to interview everyone and asks the first, "So what's your story?"

The first man replies: "Well, for a while I'd suspected my wife had been cheating on me, so I didn't go to work, and waited until I saw her lover call by. I waited a while to try to catch them red-handed. Then I burst into the apartment, but although I searched everywhere I couldn't find where her lover was hiding. Finally, I went out onto the balcony, and sure enough, there was a man running down the road, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it at him. Then all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died, and here I am."

"You have had a pretty bad day, you'd better come in," Peter says.

The second man comes up and Peter asks for his story.

"It's been a very strange day," says the man, "You see, I was late for work, and hurrying to catch the bus, when suddenly this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

St Peter sympathises with him for his terrible luck, and lets him in.

The third man comes to the front of the queue, and again Peter asks for his story.

"You won't believe this," says the third man, "I was hiding inside this refrigerator..."

Comments

  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    So the first man should have gone down to hell as he was responsible for the deaths of all three!
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,245 mod
    hahaha - :)
  • amatsuscribbleramatsuscribbler Posts: 2,213 mod
    :))
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 6,245 mod
    Can it be that the joke was written by a woman. I mean she can now have a nice life with the money of her husband. Nobody mentioned her and her adultery.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    Well the husband and boyfriend were taken care of, but if it were me I'd feel very bad about the poor innocent guy running for the bus who got dragged into the sordid incident.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,180 mod
    He was in the wrong place at the wrong moment @mheredge?
    The third man was the suspected lover, I am sure.
    And I think the first man knew that he was hiding in the fridge that was why he threw it out of the balcony.
    So the first man lied too.
    How come Saint Peter didn't know all these?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    That's what I mean @april. Poor guy's only crime was being there. The other two got their come uppance. But like you say, wasn't it Saint Peter's job to know and not just take their word for what happened? They could have spun him any old yarn.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,180 mod
    Right, I was always told that all we have done in this earthly world would be written somewhere there above.
    I won't dare lying when my time has come.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    I don't believe in fate dictating my future. I think to a large extent, we're all in control of our destiny. Though I suppose the occasional act of God puts a spanner in the works.
  • SLBSLB Posts: 1,289 ✭✭✭✭
    The first two stories made me laugh!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    You've reminded me how much I miss having a fridge! It's so warm that when I drink water it's almost hot - and that's just room temperature. X(
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 1,493
    I didn't know about zeers, but they seem to work like botijos.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 27,014 mod
    I sometimes put things in a bucket of water in the bathroom, where it's a bit cooler, if I want to cool things down. The zeer pot idea sounds good and I wanted to try it out when I was fridgeless in Kathmandu. Somehow I never got around to it, as getting the pots presented a bit of a challenge.
This discussion has been closed.