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There is wind where the rose was,
Cold rain where sweet grass was,
And clouds like sheep
Stream o'er the steep
Grey skies where the lark was.

Nought warm where your hand was,
Nought gold where your hair was,
But phantom, forlorn,
Beneath the thorn,
Your ghost where your face was.

Cold wind where your voice was,
Tears, tears where my heart was,
And ever with me,
Child, ever with me,
Silence where hope was.

November by Walter de la Mare
Don't forget to check the calendar(s) for session times. Sessions are held on different platforms, so be sure to find out where the session will take place:-

Speaking Practice

LEN English sessions:-
http://www.learnenglish.de/calendar/learnenglishcalendar.html

Listening Practice 24/7

English radio playlists:-
http://www.englishradio.be/musicevents/calendar.html

Marketing/Advertising (marketer/salesman)

BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
edited January 3 in Humour
:smiley:

«1

Comments

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @takafromtokyo I hope that you will like this discussion being a salesman. :)
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Google's second page! :)


  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A short story! :)

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 3
    Loyalty! :) :o


  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Uh! :)


  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the unbreakable comb for everyone to see and said, “And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving, one salesperson called the office and said, “I m returning on the next flight. Can’t sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot.” At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory, telling “The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A software manager, a hardware manager, and a marketing manager are driving to a meeting when a tire blows. They get out of the car and look at the problem. The software manager says, “I can’t do anything about this – it’s a hardware problem.” The hardware manager says, “Maybe if we turned the car off and on again, it would fix itself.” The marketing manager says, “Hey, 75% of it is working – let’s ship it!”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    :)

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    The out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife. The next morning, the manager asked the novice how he made out. Well,” the man began, “I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked her if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said Yes. Then I asked her why ? She replied, Because I love you .” ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions. The reply came back shortly: “Begin vacation as of yesterday.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    The couple was standing staring at one of the more expensive models in the auto showroom. A salesman sensing their debate over the price moved in and said, “This model is priced just over the car which is priced a few dollars above the car which costs no more than some models of the lowest priced cars.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, “Wait, Fellow! Please don’t do that !!!” The salesman said, “Why not ?” and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics. Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A woman was shopping in a fairly nice dress store. Trying on a dress and liking it, she asked the salesman the price. When he told her she launched into a tirade about prices these days, covering just about everything from housing to auto tires. After ten minutes or so, the salesman had obviously had enuff and said, “My dear lady. If the cost of living is so high and obviously so offensive to you, why do you bother ?”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Had a door-to-door salesman call one time selling of all things — burial plots. I told him that we already had our plots in another cemetery. He seemed uncertain as to what to say next, but he recovered to say politely, “I hope you ll be very happy there.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    No, no, no! said the enraged businessman to the persistent salesman. “I cannot see you today!” “That’s fine,” said the salesman, “I m selling spectacles.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object. “What is that?” Mikey asked. “It’s a thermos,” the salesman replied. “What does it do?” asked Mikey. “This baby,” the salesman said, “keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. “What is it?” they asked. “It’s a thermos,” Mikey replied. “What does it do?” they asked. “Well,” Mikey says in a bragging manner, “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” “What do ya got in it?” To which Mikey says, “Three cups of coffee and a popsicle.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water. “What kind of salesman are you?” the boss scolded. “Get out there and sell him a boat.”
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Salesman: That suit looks nice. It fits like a bandage. Customer: Thanks. I bought it by accident.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    :p

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,361 ✭✭✭✭
    @Bubbly
    Thanks for sharing! They all made me chuckle.
    I wonder where you get those stuff! You're very good at this!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 28,171 mod
    Bubbly said:

    Loyalty! :) :o


    That's when I'm in Nice @Bubbly! I have at least three supermarket loyalty cards and am forever giving them the wrong one.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,074 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge what was the reaction of them when you handed over the wrong loyalty card?! :)

    @takafromtokyo I like humour so I can easily find it everywhere. :)
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 5,767 mod
    mheredge said:

    Bubbly said:

    Loyalty! :) :o


    That's when I'm in Nice @Bubbly! I have at least three supermarket loyalty cards and am forever giving them the wrong one.
    I have lost count of the number of times I've tried to scan the wrong card in the wrong shop. And I am always getting vouchers through the post for different shops and it can get very confusing at times!
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