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What is one to say about June? The time of perfect young summer, the fulfilment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade.

Gertrude Jekyll
A swarm of bees in May
Is worth a load of hay;
A swarm of bees in June
Is worth a silver spoon;
A swarm of bees in July
Is not worth a fly.
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Can we change our personalities, or characters?

takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
Do you think one can change or choose his personalities, or charaters?

Some people say one's personalities or characters are designed in DNA.
If you follow this theory, it may become really difficult for someone to change his/her characters.

Some people say one's personalities or characters are learned through experiences.
If you follow this theory, you may have a better chance of changing your characters.

Some people say one's personalities or characters are other word for choices, and since people can choose solely by his/her own will, one's personalities or characters are a matter of decision.
In this case, you are 100% sure of designing your characters. In other word, you are 100% responsible of how you feel and what you do.

A friend of mine sent me this question via email this morning, and I thought this would be a good topic for discussion.


What do you think?

( I don't think there is any right or wrong in this kind of topic; you are completely free of expressing your idea. )

Comments

  • Rami94Rami94 Posts: 4
    We all have the beautiful world called the will and ambition, do not expect from others the gift of offspring by roads and confidence in the others in most tasks. If we do not find what we wanted when that person specifically and could not help, then of course there are those able to help us but we do you go in life in search of them, of course not!
    Everyone of us has a talent he has great capabilities when no other
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 373 ✭✭✭
    > @takafromtokyo said:
    > Do you think one can change or choose his personalities, or charaters?
    >

    > What do you think?
    >

    Basic features of a person are really hard-wired in the DNA. But these features are really basic: e.g. whether one is excitable or placid, an extrovert or an introvert. It's like whether one is born big or small. You can't change this, but you can learn to use your nature in your life. Skates torture a first time skater, but give speed and freedom to an expert. Just learn yourself, but do it yourself, don't accept others' opinion uncritically. A good actor's personality is very different from a good sportsman one, but the both are equally important.

    Secondly, like everything basic, DNA-programmed features leave much space for variants.

    Childhood experience is the second important factor. Human psyche is like a tree: if someone damages a sapling the result will be seen centuries later until the tree dies. That's why wise parenting is very important, especially with children under five.

    Self-development may improve your personality, but to take it up one needs time to come to understanding. The later he does it, the smaller the possible fruit is.
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @Rami94
    Thanks for leaving a comment. I'm sorry for the late reply. I haven't noticed you left a comment here.

    So, basically you think each one of us has a gift or talent that we are given when we are brought to this world.
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @Practical_Severard
    Thanks for leaving your comment here.

    So, you think that our basic features are programmed in DNA but we can also learn to redesign by ourselves through experiences. The earlier we get our hands on it, the bigger fruit we can expect.
  • Rami94Rami94 Posts: 4
    @takafromtokyo
    Yes, this is called nature.
    The personality of the individual when he was born at the highest levels, and the intervention of external factors acquires a character like his parents, for example.
    So the starting point is at birth gain new recipes and give up other recipes and thus determined the human personality.
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 373 ✭✭✭
    @takafromtokyo said:

    > So, you think that our basic features are programmed in DNA but we can also learn to redesign by ourselves through experiences. The earlier we get our hands on it, the bigger fruit we can expect.

    It has been not exactly so. We can't change our psychological nature through excercise, but we can learn to live with it, make use of it and develop it for our and others' benefit. And, really, the earlier we start, the better the results will be.
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @Practical_Severard
    Oh, I see. So, you're saying that we can't change our psychological nature through exercise but we can learn to live with it.

    How do you think can we know our pyschological natures? Do you think we can know them through observations? Like, looking back on how I acted in a certain situation?
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @Rami94
    Do you think we can know what personalities we are born with through observations? Like, looking back on how we acted in a certain situations?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 26,046 mod
    There is a saying: 'A leopard never changes its spots.' I'm not sure how far people can change their character. Though I suppose you do sometimes hear of reformed characters, especially when someone gets religion.
  • Shiny03Shiny03 Posts: 2,783 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's true. :mrgreen:


    They use cow in Chinese saying and sparrow in Japanese. How interesting!
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge
    Thanks for your comment, and some new phrases as always.

    @Shiny03
    The before and after looks completely the same to me. It sure can't change its spots.
  • sk8erboilsk8erboil Posts: 1
    well, those three theories are very interesting at all. To be honest, I literally think this question has no real answer that can resolve or convince people to believe it. I want to point out some of my opinion. First of all, genetic factor. Most people don't believe this factor become the prominent factor that dominate our daily life. look at the unfairness of inane ability that someone exceeds other. We don't know why there was a genius come out from nowhere like Einstein. Inferior people put their extraordinary effort to achieve success in return for nothing but normal result. See? The inane difference can create huge gap between individual, even its about the personality whose has smart, happy, extrovert characteristic while other are introvert, shy, and passiveness. However, nothing is 100% right. I can only say genetic factor has a decent effect.

    Secondly, talking about experience factor , I agree with the experience factor that may change your personality from time to time. Once you have enough experience, you will have difference behavior toward difference situation. Some of the changed behaviors will be considered by other as "dramatic change" or "new". However, this change only limit on the surface, but not the internal change. We will never change our inane, fundamental nature which is our human nature.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 26,046 mod
    I agree @sk8erboil. We will never change our inane, fundamental nature which is our human nature.
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @sk8erboil
    So, if I read your comment correctly, I think what you said here is that we may be able to change on the surface through our experiences, but we will never change our fundamental human nature.

    In other words, concerning our characters or personalities, ther are things we can change but the core will never change.

    Looking back on myself, I can agree with you on this point. If you'll let me add to it, I think the two different parts of characters could be called "emotions" and "soul". Emotions could vary among occasions or experiences, and they can come and go. Soul is what tells who you are and I think we can name the unchangeable part of our personality a "soul".
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge @sk8erboil @Rami94 @Practical_Severard @kindgnice @Shiny03 @Bubbly @mohit_singh @Kito

    @anyone who's interested in this topic.

    When you reflect on yourself, do you think something about you has never changed since your childhood, like you always react in a certain way in a certain circumstances, though you may like it or not yourself?

    In my case, when I see someone struggling or being left alone, I try to go over there and see if there's anything I can do for him, or at least encourage him, or at the least least just stay with him. The first friend I had when I was in North Carolina was this kid who seemed to be always playing alone. I didn't know he had been bullied at the time. I didn't make friends with him trying to save him from being bullied, I just felt it was the right thing to do. I couldn't see him being left aside. I guess my core value tells me that together is better than one, even though you may not be of much help.

    On the other hand, what I can actually do is limited according to circumstances, my experiences, or my ability.
  • kindgnicekindgnice LEO Motivator!!! Posts: 7,613 mod
    Some people say one's personalities or characters are learned through experiences.
    If you follow this theory, you may have a better chance of changing your characters.

    I agree with this one. Whether I failed or succeeded throughout my journey, I consider it as a good learning curve for me so that when I encounter those(again), at least I know how to handle them with confidence and courage. :)
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 373 ✭✭✭
    Dear @takafromtokyo, your question is vast. I'll post only how I became aware of my psychological self and felt the need to exerxcise.

    1. I took personal performance classes when I had got a managerial job.
    2. When I took up clay shooting. A successful shot at a moving target is mostly due to the right state of soul. Which is difficult to achieve, even to experienced shooters.

    The psychological side of life was a kind of personal discovery for me, since I'm a rational man with an engineerial science degree.
  • CamvelCamvel Posts: 65 ✭✭
    It's a theme very interesting ! :wink:

    I think that each people have a personality who belong him. Troughout his life, this person will know events and challanges. She will have to change her way of thinking and calling into question. So, I think that alone the people can change her characters doing a lot of efforts, it's a change long and difficult.

    :)
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 26,046 mod
    A leopard never changes his spots. Do you think this is true @mohit_singh, @takafromtokyo, @kindgnice, @Practical_Severard, @Camvel ?
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,057 ✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge

    Is it biologically true? Does anybody even did a research on this?
  • CamvelCamvel Posts: 65 ✭✭
    @mheredge, @takafromtokyo

    Yes, I think is true but the leopard can decide to save the hurt gazelle. Nobody can change his primary characteristics (two arms/legs for the human) but we can change everything else.
  • mohit_singhmohit_singh Posts: 2,171 ✭✭✭✭
    mheredge said:

    A leopard never changes his spots. Do you think this is true @mohit_singh, @takafromtokyo, @kindgnice, @Practical_Severard, @Camvel ?

    Yes, I believe in it. A human can't leave his humanity! Trust me its true!
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 373 ✭✭✭
    > @mheredge said:
    > A leopard never changes his spots. Do you think this is true?

    I agree. But, though a leopard can't change the spots, there are enough other things that it can. The first and foremost - to make its spots an advantage.
  • filauziofilauzio Posts: 1,517 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Practical_Severard wrote ( comment on December 2016 ):

    ' ... You can't change this, but you can learn to use your nature in your life. Skates torture a first time skater, but give speed and freedom to an expert... '

    I agree with this statement and metaphor; I see that it's referred to the basic individual characteristics as being inscribed into our genes, in our DNA.
    I think that your basic characters, as saying your mould, come from birth heritage: they are the marks with which our nature is indelibly imprinted.
    On the other hand, personality is something which develops at a farther stage along your life: perhaps during your adolescence when you start confronting with ever broader social groups than just the one limited to your nursery school and family, however enlarged.

    Then, it is certainly very important to be confronted with other people as sooner as possible, in order to share your values and assimilate those of others; this way, in my opinion, you get to form your personality, so that your genetic mould doesn't turn the other kind of mould, the woolly greenish kind of, as if you were a bit of cheese laying abandoned in a fridge for too long.

    However, you should also make sure your innate talent, such as that of growing a skilled ' skater ' isn't being neglected meanwhile; you should stick to your abilities and possibilities for your self-respect; moreover, I believe people will grow appreciative of you the more you behave like that.

    glad to stop strict diet, splashed in belly flop? Don't care you're not light, here on English hop !
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 26,046 mod
    I read an interesting article last night that makes me reconsider my view that leopards don't change their spots. It suggests that we are constantly changing and this makes sense when you consider everything to be temporary in nature.
  • mounamouna Posts: 1,300 ✭✭✭
    It's difficult to change the personality of anyone but it's not impossible.We have a speech from our prophet He tell us:Be patient come if you try to get it.Be sciecist also come if you try to get it.It sounds we have to make effort and work hardly to change our personality.
  • aamiraimanaamiraiman Posts: 11 ✭✭
    Yes..we can...but need take a long time for changing our personality...and it also difficult
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