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What is one to say about June? The time of perfect young summer, the fulfilment of the promise of the earlier months, and with as yet no sign to remind one that its fresh young beauty will ever fade.

Gertrude Jekyll
A swarm of bees in May
Is worth a load of hay;
A swarm of bees in June
Is worth a silver spoon;
A swarm of bees in July
Is not worth a fly.
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Would you prefer a big family or a small family?

KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
Why?

Do you think big families will disappear?
Post edited by Lynne on
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  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,210 mod
    You go first @Khalied. ;)
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lynne let's go :D
    1- small family (father -mother -sons) I think this family strong enough if this family lost one member like father or mother will make a lot of problems and easily to destroy and relationships and this type so famous in cities .
    2-big family or extended family like my professor said (grandparents - parents -sons)
    I prefer this family and this type so famous in Rural areas and continuea lot of good things
    -the relationship between members so strong.
    -This family have cabicty to face any problem easily
    -this family make strong society with little criminal and power relationship although you can see the people in Rural areas know each other easily
    sadly almost studies saying extended family going to disappear step by step .


  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,210 mod
    I'll be honest, with 7 billion people on the planet, reduced infant mortality and the fact we are living longer, I think the concept of a big family is no longer sustainable. That said I am a huge fan of close family, and extended family.

    However, we shouldn't romanticize it: Some people are born into nightmare families. Also there are other ways to define the concept of "family".

    As a child, many of our extended family were complete strangers to me. (I sometimes found out about their existence after they had died.) It would have been nice if they had been more involved in our lives, but I had aunties and uncles who weren't even related. :smiley: So, there was no shortage of love.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,044 mod
    I sometimes say: "If I could choose now, I wouldn't even want to be born."
    Sorry @Khalied , I've ruined your topic.
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @april please don't say that again
    listen to my story
    I've been lived in a extended family when I was teenager I lost my father and my grandparents care of me and introduced all good things and grandfather like my friend no secret and make joke and if I ask anything like buffalo will accept and said everything for you and prefer to make joke with my friends.my grandmother said to me help us in your free time and study and I want to see you in the best way .I wanna make high score at high score but I can't do that because my family in this time need help and I worked and learn and I tried to help my little brother to become great man and better than me . finally I succeed and my brother being mechanical engineering . @Lynne I believe what you said never stop anyone try do anything you can't do. @april you must be happy look around you and please in this case look people under you not above you
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 25,751 mod
    I think it's got a lot to do with what you're used to @Khalied. I have many distant cousins in France, a leftover from the old days of large families (my family in the UK is very small). Different countries have different expectations. In Britain it is seen as unusual, even irresponsible to have many children nowadays. In my grandparents' time however, large families were common. (My grandmother on my father's side was one of seven siblings).

    In poor countries, parents often think more children is better, as insurance for their old age or to help working in the fields. But have you noticed how in the cities, people tend now to have much smaller families @Khalied? It is expensive to ensure that children get a good education and increasingly even in poor countries, the family size is coming down, especially amongst educated people.
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge a lot of people in Arab countries prefer big family a lot of sons did you know why?because our religion invite for a lot of sons in our families special in Islambut you should save their future I think @Bubbly agree with me .sadly I saw some families have a lot of sons and don't introduce any care .I live with two boys and a sister and my mother that's my family and I'm looking for to build family like this
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 25,751 mod
    In China and India, the preference of sons over daughters mean that there are significantly more boys than girls in the population, leading to quite a serious population imbalance. DO you know if this is the same in Arab countries @Khalied?
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 356 ✭✭✭
    I hired several Uzbek migrant workers for building of my country house. They did live in big families in a rural and mountainous area of Tajikistan. Their leader’s situation was: his father had turned 60, and working at that age would have been socially unacceptable for him. Such a man should spend his days in a council of elders, deciding the community’s matters. He should have a good house, and a good car, his adult offspring had to be decent people. That old man had four sons who brought him all the money they made, while their families lived in his house, the wives went around it under command of the mother-in-law. The granddad made decisions on family spending. The sons had married at an early age, the same had been true for their wives and the daughters. A marriage means a party for all village dwellers, it costs a family’s yearly income. On the other hand, when a son reach a certain age (probably, 30 or 35), the father is obliged to ‘separate’ him, this means building a house and, possibly, providing means for living.

    The system decides many social problems which the West (and Russia) experience. No teenage pregnancy: people are married at an early age. Their unpreparedness isn’t a problem, since they’re looked after by their parents. On the other hand, they are set free when they have learned something about life. Of course, the parents decide who’ll be the spouse, but often they do it wiser. With so many women in a house there are no unattended children, maternity isn’t a headache, giving birth happens at the biologically optimal age. The old folk have very good retirement ‘benefits’, as well as a high social position. And surely, they aren’t left alone. The system itself requires no public expenses and isn’t subject to embezzlement.

    Of course, any coin has the reverse side: those people have to pay for the advantages – with their freedom.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,007 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2016
    I am in the favour of a 'family'. Big or small doesn't matter. Every relationship in the family has its own charm and place so it depends on you how do you manage every relationship well.
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge I'll be honest with you my religion against preference between girls and boys sadly some people prefer boys more than girls because the boy help her parents but girls will leave home one day and all love for her husband
  • Manar_ELSaeedManar_ELSaeed Posts: 26 ✭✭
    For me I prefer small family as i can give them the enough care . but that's only for me ,but i also believe that there are others have the ability of taking care of big family . so if you can ,go ahead , I respect it alot .
    Regards the question about the disappearance of big family , i think unfortunately it will disappear because of our hard conditions .
  • mounamouna Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭
    I grew up in my small family with my parents,my brother and my sister.Our House seem very calm.I can't imagine my life in a big family.
    Get a big house with a big family could arrange me.
  • arzulitaarzulita Posts: 123 ✭✭✭
    We live in two-story house and my grandmother (my fathers mom) lives on the first floor. She is a difficult person and she is making difficulty to my mom, she is behaving her badly. For this reason I never could love my grandmother and for this reason I prefer small family. I think I can't live in a house with my mother in law in the future, I would like to have privacy with my husband..
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 356 ✭✭✭
    edited May 2
    > @arzulita said:
    > We live in two-story house and my grandmother (my fathers mom) lives on the first floor. She is a difficult person and she is making difficulty to my mom...

    While the most mentioned relationship is between a mother-in-law and a son-in-law, and it has become the theme of numerous jokes in all parts of the world, the relationship between her and daughter-in-law is the most complicated. The mother-in-law always thinks that her beloved son's wife doesn't deserve him at all, that she's lazy, unpractical and wasteful. Secondly, two women never share one kitchen peacefully.

    The solution is only keeping distance. That's good when a granny lives nearby (and it's certainly bad if she lives far away), but not in the same house.
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 25,751 mod
    I wonder if larger families tend to be less dysfunctional.
  • mounamouna Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭
    It's ideal when you live in a small family then you can meet your big family once a week or more than. :) <3
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 25,751 mod
    I have a small family @mouna but we don't meet very often as I don't live nearby.
  • mounamouna Posts: 1,232 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge .I mean have a small family which living together in the same house and you meet the grand family once a week,maybe the grandparents,the grandson,granddaughter,aunt .....etc
  • vinayagarwalkdlvinayagarwalkdl Posts: 31 ✭✭
    Well, I have a small family. There are five members in my family- my parents, me and two younger brothers. both are having its own merits at somewhere and demerits at somewhere.
    Having small members in a family is good for sometimes like no tensions, no extra burden, Proper money management. The purview of thinking is limited. but sometimes it feels like if I had big family , it would have been better as you learn coordination with the others members of family. You learn to take care of each members of family without any selflessness. living together is itself a big task. In big family we can see arguments or fights among family members as well as love for each other.
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,210 mod
    There have been calls to limit families to having 2 children, and recently in the UK Child Tax Credits were limited to 2 children.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/news/8048030/Limit-families-to-two-children-to-save-the-planet-doctor.html
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,220 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lynne I meet a man yesterday he have 8 children 4girls and 4 boys and he can't keep their children very well like when you have 2 childrenand I'm looking for 4 children not more
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 25,751 mod
    How interesting @Lynne. I think in France the more children you have, the more tax benefits you're entitled to. There is huge concern about how the population is ageing.
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