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Flying jokes

LynneLynne Your TeacherHomePosts: 8,509 mod
edited December 2015 in Humour
Share your flying / airline / pilot jokes here.
Post edited by Lynne on

Comments

  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 23,519 mod
    A mother and her 5-year-old son were flying Qantas from Sydney to Auckland. The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant.

    So the little guy walks up to the galley and asks the flight attendant, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"

    The flight attendant responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me that?"

    The boy said, "Yes, she did”.

    "Well then, please tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Qantas always pulls out on time, and ask her explain that to you."
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 9,671 mod
    Explain please. :)
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    Your blushing emoticon tells me you don't need an explanation @April.

  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭✭✭
    She wants to know how Marianne will explain.

    image
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    So do I @Helvio. ;)
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 9,671 mod
    Well? :-SS
    I have written my favourite Flying joke in Yuku forum. I'm not sure if it's expected to write that again here?
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Please, go ahead @April!!
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    That's purely up to you @April.
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    Here's one I like:-

    Basic Flying Rules:
    1. Try to stay in the middle of the air.
    2. Do not go near the edges of it.
    3. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 9,671 mod
    edited December 2013
    I don't want to bore you all @Lynne.
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    You are never boring @April. Besides I can never remember jokes, so it will be entertaining for me anyway. :)
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Good joke Lynne.
    @April, forget the mimimi and write down the joke.
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 23,519 mod
    I can't remember jokes to save my life.
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    What's the difference between a pilot and God?

    God doesn't think He's a pilot.
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    :)

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.
    So, this one time he was approaching a field during the night time.
    Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"
    The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,509 mod
    edited April 2016
    Question: How do you know if there is a pilot at a party?

    Answer:
    He will tell you.
  • gioroldangioroldan Posts: 19 ✭✭
    > @Bubbly said:
    > :)

    smart
  • DaliyaDaliya Posts: 79 ✭✭
    Melanie(age5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember anymore. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say 5 to 6.'
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe ;)
    A two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Poland. Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 200 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    An 747 was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A couple minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. "All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after landing when his approach speed was just a little too fast. San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at the end, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light to return to the airport.
  • mheredgemheredge Wordsmith Here and therePosts: 23,519 mod
    No joke, Turkish AIrlines overflew Nice quite low a few days ago @Bubbly. They will no doubt get a rap across the knuckles as this is strictly forbidden. Nice airport is on the edge of the city by the sea and planes are supposed to approach from the sea and not fly over the inhabited area.


  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,686 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Bubbly, that's right, we aren't very clever. :D

    By the way I am not very responsive recently. I am consoling my soul by reading Maupertuis.
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,711 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe I know that you are flying to another world that no one knows. Enjoy your journey. ;)
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