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Jokes about men and women

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Comments

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2015
    @Lien ..and may be vice a versa. ;)
  • LienLien Posts: 266 Inactive
    @Bubbly
    I do not like a jealous man.
    I do not like a jealous woman.
    So, I like neither a jealous man nor a jealous woman.

    I like a meek man. I like a meek woman. So, I like both a meek man and a meek woman.

    Well, I practise English language through writing English, so my questions sometimes seem to be silly. I have learnt many English structures. I have been taught lots of grammars, structures. Without practising, I had forgot them. So now I take advantages of opportunities to apply them.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lien don't mention every time that you want to learn, just do it. You have given this huge platform, explore and learn. You will get people around you who will reciprocate and even help you out.
  • LienLien Posts: 266 Inactive
    Thank you @Bubbly Today I know more English words: reciprocate, help sb out.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lien Sure! Try to be precise whilst sharing your knowledge with us.
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,229 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think the woman can make trick but the men so kind . the she have pretty heart simple words can make and sadness be careful because the woman so emotional extremely . the man so jealous and serious you can control his heart by you feel the man everything in the house.
  • FatimaFatima Posts: 65 Inactive
    but when he is out of the house, what shall we do @gomaa ? ;)
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,229 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2016
    F@tima just feeling the man everything in the house and the man respect your opinions and he coming to help when the man left the home the woman become smiliar to the man in the house and keep the secret.
  • LynneLynne Teach HomePosts: 9,700 mod
    This got far too serious:-

    How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

    Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 29,202 mod
    Haha @Lynne! That's enough to put anyone off.
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • peaceculture2peaceculture2 Posts: 1,344 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Most of women when they decide/desire to do something, their Hearts and Brain united for those desires. But for men, often it's different we can desire for something by brain while our hearts desire something else.

    Much respect to women, please remember we can't respect you if you're not prepared to be respected.
  • [Ex Member][Ex Member] Posts: 0
    The man comes home intoxicated, barely standing at 4 a clock in the morning. His wife is waiting for him standing in the kitchen. He comes in, takes a chair and sits down in front of her.

    Wife: Just what do you thing you are doing?
    Husband: I want to be in the first row when the show starts.
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 719 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2016
    Wife: "we've been married for full three years, but the hubby still keeps my number in his mobile as 'Billy-carmechanic'. What is he waiting for?"
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 29,202 mod
    I'm surrounded by guys in the apartment where I was staying a couple of weeks ago. It's interesting to see the group dynamics!
  • JuhaJuha Posts: 11 ✭✭
    @fatima Adding:Bluetooth consumes less energy, but has a shorter range...
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 29,202 mod
    I was in a class today with ten other women when one lone guy came and joined us. I feel quite sorry for him!
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @mheredge why? because he was the only one who was silent there. ;)
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 29,202 mod
    It can be a bit intimidating being so surrounded by women @Bubbly! And I'm not sure he is getting much chance to get a word in edgeways.
  • LynneLynne Teach HomePosts: 9,700 mod
    edited October 2016
    A man was complaining to his friend. He said, "My wife isn’t talking to me at the moment. She says that I ruined her birthday."
    His friend asked, "Why? What did you do?"
    He replied, "I have no idea. I didn’t even know it was her birthday."
  • FatimaFatima Posts: 65 Inactive
    An English professor wrote up on the board “woman without her man is nothing” and told his students to punctuate it.

    The males in the class wrote “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”

    The Females wrote “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.” ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,151 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
  • nuurussubchiynuurussubchiy Posts: 259 ✭✭✭
    Men have a fight with women...
    Man wins= violence against women
    Man loses= loser
  • MichouxeMichouxe Posts: 4,663 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I find this humorous, because I know someone who is a bit deaf and, haha ....... his answers?
  • MahaaaMahaaa Posts: 20 ✭✭
    hahahahaha i agree little bit with most of men and women like this , but like i said most not all :)
  • benibeni Posts: 12 ✭✭
    A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, "Well I carried this child around in my stomach for nine months and I had to go through a painful birth process, this is my child and apart of me." The jury is impressed and then turns to ask the man the same question. The man replies, "OK, I take a coin and put it in the drink machine and a drink comes out, now tell me who does the drink belong to me or the machine"
  • MichouxeMichouxe Posts: 4,663 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @beni - Haha, that's a good one, nice! :D
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