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Jokes on Psychology/Psychiatry

BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
Well! How did I miss my own subject to have "a little bit fun." ;)
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Comments

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office.

    "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck."

    "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry."
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

    The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

    The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

    Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

    The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

    To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 5,804 mod
    May I be the last one, please? (In case we`ll do a rollplay.)
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how does one determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

    "Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

    "Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

    "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.

    Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

    A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?"
  • madhugmadhug Posts: 331 ✭✭✭
    Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock
  • LynneLynne Your Teacher HomePosts: 8,490 mod
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lynne Oh! the above picture reminds me of a paranoid case. ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2015
    @Xanthippe first link didn't open but I like this joke. ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe still error. Is it the one you wanted to share? :)

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,685 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yes, @Bubbli. It is strange becaue I could open it. :(
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe :( strange things are really friendly with you. ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Xanthippe really genious projection, I must say. ;)
  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Look at the wisdom tooth! :)

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Posts: 29,668 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

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