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There is wind where the rose was,
Cold rain where sweet grass was,
And clouds like sheep
Stream o'er the steep
Grey skies where the lark was.

Nought warm where your hand was,
Nought gold where your hair was,
But phantom, forlorn,
Beneath the thorn,
Your ghost where your face was.

Cold wind where your voice was,
Tears, tears where my heart was,
And ever with me,
Child, ever with me,
Silence where hope was.

November by Walter de la Mare
Don't forget to check the calendar(s) for session times. Sessions are held on different platforms, so be sure to find out where the session will take place:-

Speaking Practice

LEN English sessions:-
http://www.learnenglish.de/calendar/learnenglishcalendar.html

Listening Practice 24/7

English radio playlists:-
http://www.englishradio.be/musicevents/calendar.html

Do you have a joke?

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Comments

  • nontannontan Posts: 201 ✭✭
    > @Paulette said:
    > @nontan I think that it has something to do with chemistry because H2O2 is a chemical product that is highly flammable and is also used in the medical world as bactericidal to anaerobic microorganisms. And in English if you say "too" then it can sound like "two".

    > @Practical_Severard said:
    > > @Paulette said:
    > > @nontan I think that it has something to do with chemistry because H2O2 is a chemical product that is highly flammable and is also used in the medical world as bactericidal to anaerobic microorganisms. And in English if you say "too" then it can sound like "two".
    >
    > In British English a "chemist" is a person who works in a drugstore e.g. sells medicines. H2O2 is also known is "hydrogen peroxide" which was used before for desinfecting wounds. Maybe, the word "chemist" adds some humour for the industry's insiders.

    I got it!
    Thank you again.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,325 ✭✭✭✭✭
    John comes home and handed his father a school report. "What!" says his father "I've never seen such a bad school report!" and he's furious. But John replies "That school report isn't mine", "It's one of you that I found in the attic."
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 605 ✭✭✭
    A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells him that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

    The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys of his brand new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.

    The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

    The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese man for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

    Two weeks later, the Chinese man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”

    The Chinese man replies: “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 605 ✭✭✭
    Psychotherapist: Why did you try that suicide?
    Patient: I was so bored with life, doctor!
    Psychotherapist: so why did you think that a suicide might have entertained you?
  • lisalisa Posts: 407 ✭✭
    @Bubbly so so so funny
  • lisalisa Posts: 407 ✭✭
    last friday I bought some bottles of water for my husband, and told him: this kind of water is very good, a bit sweety when you drink it. He looked at me very serious and said: Because you bought the water for me, it tastes sweety?
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 605 ✭✭✭
    edited November 1
    Father: when I was at your age now, I didn't lie to people, mate!
    Son: That's becoming intriguing, Dad. When did you start then?
  • JessikJessik Posts: 19 ✭✭
    > @Dora said:
    >

    aaaa cool !
  • JessikJessik Posts: 19 ✭✭
    > @Bubbly said:
    > @moath I couldn't get the last one. :)

    cool
  • takafromtokyotakafromtokyo Posts: 2,293 ✭✭✭✭
    @Practical_Severard
    Haha.. father...
    That was a good one! ψ(`∇´)ψ
  • younusvyounusv Posts: 40 ✭✭
    second language

    A family of mice was surprised by a big cat. Father Mouse jumped and said, "Bow-wow!" The cat ran away. "What was that Father?" asked Baby Mouse. "Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language.
  • jackelliotjackelliot Posts: 755 OTT
    .

    A joke is the way that elites live in a paradise world hidden from the view of us

    jackelliot.over-blog.com/2017/11/paradise-papers-the-secrets-of-world-elite-s-hidden-wealth-revealed.html

    .
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 7,325 ✭✭✭✭✭
    At a visit of the doctor, he told me I had a dual personality. Then he asks me to pay 80 dollar, so I give him 40 bucks and say, "You can get the other 40 bucks from the other guy.”
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