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"The April rain, the April rain,
Comes slanting down in fitful showers,
Then from the furrow shoots the grain,
And banks are fledged with nestling flowers;
And in grey shawl and woodland bowers
The cuckoo through the April rain
Calls once again."

Mathilde Blind, April Rain
Don't forget to check the calendar(s) for session times. Sessions are held on different platforms, so be sure to find out where the session will take place:-

Speaking Practice

LEN English sessions:-
http://www.learnenglish.de/calendar/learnenglishcalendar.html

Listening Practice 24/7

English radio playlists:-
http://www.englishradio.be/musicevents/calendar.html

Do you have a joke?

moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
A father wants to teach his sons how strong they can be when they stick together..
so he called for them and gave the biggest son 1 stick
- big son: ok,i break it!
- father: take 5..
- big son: i break them!
- father: all right!, take 20..
- big son: Oh!, i break them!
- father: you know my sons, i will not worry about you if that "whale" is with you.....
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Comments

  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2015
    @DAVID.A.M.R
    good one!
  • exmemberexmember Posts: 2,332 ✭✭✭✭✭
    :D
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @Dora
    hhhhhhhhh, yours is the best
    i hope you can share more...
  • DoraDora Teacher's Pet Posts: 3,068 mod
    Sure @moath. :)
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @Dora
    nice one, but it is not the best
    come on! i want the best you have...i know you can do it
    XD
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 29,874 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @Dora It's not a joke but a fact. :)
  • SairaSaira Posts: 566 ✭✭✭
    It's hard to find a friend that's
    96 % funny
    98 % @!~*
    and
    100 % sweet
    so don't lose ME !
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @Saira
    first one is great..
    but i don't know why i laughed more on th 2nd one!
    and i'm sure i don't want to lose you.. XD
  • nhoclemnhoclem Posts: 5
    sorry, but i don't understand meaning of "whale" on this case :(.
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @nhoclem
    a metarphor for big strong guy..
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @nhoclem
    hey, we're on the same age..
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    Interviewer: why did you leave your last job?
    [flashback to me starting a fight club in the retirement home]
    Me: creative differences!
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 29,874 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @moath creative differences. I like the term. :)
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    [Restaurant]

    Woman: Quick! My husband has collapsed! Call an ambulance!
    Waiter: We don't have a phone. Is Pepsi ok?
    !!!
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @bubbli
    hhhhhhe, i like it
    could you share more,plz
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    People fear what they don't understand:

    Change
    Death
    4th grade math word problems

    *brought
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    What if the cat thinks that he owns the house and I just visit him at night?
    !!

    *brought
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    Dentist: You're not bleeding at all. Do you floss?

    Me: Yes! Twice a day.

    Dentist: *slides knife across my gums* Stop flossing. I need this

    *brought
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 29,874 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    @moath I couldn't get the last one. :)
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @bubbli
    it's ok, some people don't see it funny too, but i like it..
    maybe it is about how you imagine it, or how it relate to some event in your life
    thats why we laugh at jokes :)
  • SairaSaira Posts: 566 ✭✭✭
    Teacher, (I killed a person) tell me this sentence in future tense.
    Student, In future tense,( you will go to jail )
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 29,874 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
  • moathmoath Posts: 495 ✭✭✭✭
    @Saira
    hhhhhhhhe, great jokes
    i like the last one the most...
    MORE PLz....!
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