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"The April rain, the April rain,
Comes slanting down in fitful showers,
Then from the furrow shoots the grain,
And banks are fledged with nestling flowers;
And in grey shawl and woodland bowers
The cuckoo through the April rain
Calls once again."

Mathilde Blind, April Rain
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Maths jokes

XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited March 2015 in Humour
I am posting my story in this section but it has happened for real. :) Just imagine: instead of diligently doing their homework some probability students in the course I am taking now started computing the probability of choosing a correct answer at random! At last the professor joined to improve notation. They are crazy guys, aren't they?

I am sorry, I can't post a screenshot here. :(

Post edited by Teach on


  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 7,035 mod
    edited January 2014
    A farmer is counting his cows when they are all out in the field. He counts 196, but when he has rounded them up, he has 200.


    A farmer was counting his cows out in the field. He counted 196, but when he rounded them up, he had 200.
    Post edited by Teach on
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 7,035 mod
    No wonder that @Lynne was the first person who checked the point, because she is native.
  • [Ex Member][Ex Member] Posts: 0 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2014
  • Can you explain please for an ESL learner :(
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,553 mod
    I didn't get it I'm afraid. I mean, why was he rounding to the nearest hundred? Surely whole cows are enough aren't they? @Hermine, I think you may need to explain to both me and @Ahmed_Ebrahim.
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    To round up - 2 meanings.
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 7,035 mod
    @Marianne, @ Ahmed-Ebrahim
    I found the joke in the Magazine `Spotlight`(for English learners)
    - rounded them up - it has two meanings as Lynne says. 1) round up 196 to 200
    or you can round the cows up, maybe to get them into the stable

  • [Ex Member][Ex Member] Posts: 0 ✭✭✭✭
    round-up NOUN
    round-up pronunciation English; round-up pronunciation American
    [usually singular]

    a summary of the most important points of a particular subject, especially the news
    We'll be back after the break with a round-up of today's other stories.
    a news round-up
    This week's issue includes a round-up of the latest record releases.
    an act of bringing people or animals together in one place for a particular purpose
    the round-up of sheep for shearing
    The police carried out their usual round-up of Saturday night drunks.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,553 mod
    Groan! ~X( Der.... I wasn't engaging my brain!
  • HermineHermine Moderator Posts: 7,035 mod
    @Marianne - No problem we are here to help each other. Aren`t we guys?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,553 mod
    Senile dementia creeping on! :-L
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,571 mod
    Talking about "round up", do you have to round up or round down the amount of money which you have to pay when you go shopping?
    If you pay it in cash of course.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,553 mod
    Shops seem to always round up, but sometimes the microbuses (if it's a nice ticket man) rounds down if he doesn't have change.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,571 mod
    In The Netherlands it is the rule.
    For a total of €19.46 you have to pay €19.50 and for a total of €19.44 you will be only charged for €19.40.
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    There's only one shop here that does that @April. It's the local farm shop, where I try to buy my fruit and veg, and they always round down. I was surprised the first time and tried to tell the shop assistant she had made a mistake. Eventually she managed to convince me she knew what she was doing. :D

    (This was all in German of course.)
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 31,553 mod
    edited January 2014
    In a lot of Asian countries they seem always to be short of change. So if they don't have the small change, invariably they offer a few sweets.
  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,571 mod
    Belgium will do the same as The Netherlands, just to get rid of the small coins with 1 and 2 cents of value.
    In fact, I'm not sure what they do if the sum is €19.45.
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    edited March 2015
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    And were the results worthwhile @Xanthippe? Would I have a chance of passing the course without having studied it?
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    When a statistician went through airport security, they discovered a bomb in his bag.

    He tried to explain his action by saying: "Statistics shows that the probability of a bomb being on an airplane is 1/1000. However, the chance that there would be two bombs on one plane is 1/1000000. So, everyone is much safer ..."
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,878 mod
    edited March 2015
    Here's one for @Igor Lovera:-

    Q. Write the expression for the volume of a thick crust pizza with height "a" and radius "z".

    Answer - pizza - Explanation: The formula for volume is π (pi)·(radius)2·(height).

    Source: Reddit
  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Lynne I wouldn't recommend it. :) It is m/n where m is the number of attempts allowed and n - the number of guesses. Only two attempts are allowed in this course. :)
  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭✭✭
    My fellow student wrote:

    Probability Students: Ask not for who the Bell rings. It rings for you :)
  • dujiannantoridujiannantori Posts: 486 Inactive
    @Xanthippe loved this course when i was a student, I like all the calculat and logic, but I wouldn't recommented for really life application, coz I am an opportuniste and I believe in effort!
  • XanthippeXanthippe Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That's true, I believe in effort too, @dujiannantori :)
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,268 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,268 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    Exactly my feelings. :)

  • DoraDora Posts: 3,322 ✭✭✭✭
    A physicist and a mathematician are sitting in a faculty lounge. Suddenly, the coffee machine catches on fire. The physicist grabs a bucket and leap towards the sink, filled the bucket with water and puts out the fire. Second day, the same two sit in the same lounge. Again, the coffee machine catches on fire. This time, the mathematician stands up, got a bucket, hands the bucket to the physicist, thus reducing the problem to a previously solved one.
  • DoraDora Posts: 3,322 ✭✭✭✭
    Several scientists were all posed the following question: "What is 2 * 2 ?"

    The engineer whips out his slide rule (so it's old) and shuffles it back and forth, and finally announces "3.99".

    The physicist consults his technical references, sets up the problem on his computer, and announces "it lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

    The mathematician cogitates for a while, then announces: "I don't know what the answer is, but I can tell you, an answer exists!".

    Philosopher smiles: "But what do you mean by 2 * 2 ?"

    Logician replies: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."

    The sociologist: "I don't know, but is was nice talking about it"
    Behavioral Ecologist: "A polygamous mating system".

    Medical Student : "4" All others looking astonished : "How did you know ??"

    Medical Student : "I memorized it."
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